May 2007

I am busy.

New project started, new challenges, new headaches, new obstacles, new things to learn.

Busy is good. It assists in distraction. Distracting one from the things that one do not want to think about. Things that one care too much.

I am busy.

It was my first project kick off meeting. All my previous projects were deemed too small to have a project kick off meeting and I had to skip the last major project kick off meeting because I was busy supporting another client.

All the people who had a stake in the project were there, including the COO and various other top management. It was an eye opener, and I was feeling very nervous when I was introduced to the rest when my role in the project was announced. I raised my hand feebly to acknowledge my name, pretending that I was cool and calm about it, when I was having butterflies in my stomach.

After the brief presentation on the project, it was time to eat some finger food and mingle around for some conversation. Since I was not taking on the major roles in the project, I quietly stand back in the shadows and just smile sheepishly at anyone who walked past me.

Somehow I wanted badly to be known by the management, both in the company and the clients. I want to take on major roles in major projects, to have my name flashed at the top of the organisation chart, and not a small footnote right at the bottom of the chart. I want people to sought me out during the finger food conversations to talk to me instead of wondering who is this guy smiling like a fool at the back.

The words from this management guy in a MNC bank who was my company’s client came back to me, ‘Are you hungry enough? To achieve, you have to be hungry.’

I am hungry. Very hungry.

What is it with many icq users requesting to add me to their buddylist? And when I check on some of these icq users, they are all from Russia?

New avenue for spamming? Or just that my nick sounded Russian?

A lone hunchbacked figure stands out amongst the hustle and bustle of the shopping centre. She is very old, and dressed in dirty and worn out clothes. She stared intently at a display box filled with rows of shiny watches.

The counter’s sales lady noticed her and asked her if she was interested in any of the watches. The old lady merely shook her head. She turned away slowly, and walked for a few steps before stopping. Then gently she unzipped an old waist pouch before removing, with utmost care, a small package wrapped carefully with some paper from the pouch. She unwrapped the package with trembling hands, revealing a new and shiny watch. She then put on the watch before breaking into a smile. Taking a last look at her watch, she slowly walked off.

Somehow the whole scene touches me.