Wenjie’s ramblings as he goes through this thing called life.
You are currently browsing the daily archive for October 5, 2009.
I needed it badly. In my mind, I was screaming for a drink. Instead, I decided to pound the treadmill. Struggling through the pain for almost an hour, I was almost in a state of bliss as the endorphins kicked in.
I still went for that drink after though.
There was a time I had a purpose, an aim. Now I do not know why I even exist. For what? For whom? For what purpose?
Memories are what I have now. They are my greatest enemy, my innermost demons. They do not fade. No matter how long it has been, they still prick the inside of me, every single second. The pain, it never fades, it lingers. It hurts.
Memories do not fade. Especially the painful ones.
The project has been delayed, again and again. This waiting is really the enthusiasm in me. I hope when it finally starts, I still have the energy required.
Things seem to be aimless now. Like a boat with the motor dead, I am just allowing the sea currents to carry the boat.I do not know which direction to sail the boat towards. There is no motivation even to find any direction.
Unmotivated. Directionless. Aimless.
